Rachel “Raquel” Leviss and Tom Sandoval.Photo:Santiago Felipe/Getty, River Callaway/Variety via GettyRachel “Raquel” Levissis confident her relationship withTom Sandovalwas “not love.”In the latest episode of herRachel Goes Roguepodcast, theVanderpump Rulesalum explained what made her realize the polarizing affair wasn’t the real deal.Speaking withMarried at First Sightexpert Pastor Cal about“love bombing,”she addressed Sandoval’s comment onlast week’s episode ofVPRthat he’s “still very much in love with Raquel.”While considering the kind of “manipulation tactics” some romantic partners — and cult leaders — use to forge bonds, the 29-year-old former pageant queen said: “It’s interesting that you say that its origin [of love bombing] came from cults and religious institutions because people joining churches or cults are trying to find a place of belonging, of acceptance. Gradually, over time, it becomes a control tactic. It’s almost like that phrase ‘a frog in boiling water’ where it won’t jump out of boiling water even though it’s going to kill them, because it’s so gradual.”Connecting that thought to her previous relationships — both with Sandoval, 41, and with herex-fiancéJames Kennedy— Leviss concluded: “I feel like it’s a similar manipulation tactic. At first, you just think this person is so in love with you, they adore you and they’re giving you all this attention." But eventually, she said, the relationships became about “control” and left her in a spot where she felt she had no one to rely on but her partner — something she called an “odd pattern” that’s played out more than once in her life.Rachel “Raquel” Leviss.Getty ImagesShe admitted of both exes: “I fell in love with one narcissistic a–hole, and after that relationship ended after five years of being in that relationship, I fell into the hands of another narcissistic a–hole,” she said. “I feel like I maybe missed out on some precious time learning these lessons the hard way.”And from the top of the episode, Leviss stated clearly that she could only draw one conclusion about herseven-month affair with Sandoval: “Our connection was not love.”Reflecting on her time spent with Sandoval and Kennedy, 32, she acknowledged, “I know for me personally, I stayed in unhealthy relationships for far too long. … I feel like I maybe missed out on some precious time learning these lessons the hard way.“James Kennedy and Tom Sandoval.Todd Williamson/Bravo, Phillip Faraone/GettyIn early March 2023, Sandoval’s then-girlfriend of nine yearsAriana Madixdiscovered that he and Leviss had beenhaving a secret relationshipbehind her back. She immediatelybroke up with him, and the betrayal spiraled into aninternational scandalthat is still playing out inseason 11.A few weeks after Leviss and Sandovalapologizedto Madix, 38, they were forced to reckon with their choices during thebrutal season 10 reunionfilming.Though Sandoval and Leviss claimed they were still in love at that time, Madix was having none of it. She called her ex “diabolical, demented, disgusting” and “subhuman” before telling Leviss, “F— yourself with a cheese grater. F— you. You f—ing suck. You’re disgusting, and I wish nothing but the worst f—ing sh– that could ever happen to a person on you.“Leviss did not returnto filmVPRseason 11 and has sincecut off all contact with Sandoval— a move, she confirmed on her latest podcast episode, that she had decided to takeat the recommendation of her therapist.Rachel “Raquel” Leviss and Ariana Madix.getty (2)Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.Vanderpump Rulesairs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET on Bravo and can be streamed in full on Peacock.
Rachel “Raquel” Leviss and Tom Sandoval.Photo:Santiago Felipe/Getty, River Callaway/Variety via Getty
Santiago Felipe/Getty, River Callaway/Variety via Getty
Rachel “Raquel” Levissis confident her relationship withTom Sandovalwas “not love.”In the latest episode of herRachel Goes Roguepodcast, theVanderpump Rulesalum explained what made her realize the polarizing affair wasn’t the real deal.Speaking withMarried at First Sightexpert Pastor Cal about“love bombing,”she addressed Sandoval’s comment onlast week’s episode ofVPRthat he’s “still very much in love with Raquel.”While considering the kind of “manipulation tactics” some romantic partners — and cult leaders — use to forge bonds, the 29-year-old former pageant queen said: “It’s interesting that you say that its origin [of love bombing] came from cults and religious institutions because people joining churches or cults are trying to find a place of belonging, of acceptance. Gradually, over time, it becomes a control tactic. It’s almost like that phrase ‘a frog in boiling water’ where it won’t jump out of boiling water even though it’s going to kill them, because it’s so gradual.”Connecting that thought to her previous relationships — both with Sandoval, 41, and with herex-fiancéJames Kennedy— Leviss concluded: “I feel like it’s a similar manipulation tactic. At first, you just think this person is so in love with you, they adore you and they’re giving you all this attention.” But eventually, she said, the relationships became about “control” and left her in a spot where she felt she had no one to rely on but her partner — something she called an “odd pattern” that’s played out more than once in her life.Rachel “Raquel” Leviss.Getty ImagesShe admitted of both exes: “I fell in love with one narcissistic a–hole, and after that relationship ended after five years of being in that relationship, I fell into the hands of another narcissistic a–hole,” she said. “I feel like I maybe missed out on some precious time learning these lessons the hard way.”And from the top of the episode, Leviss stated clearly that she could only draw one conclusion about herseven-month affair with Sandoval: “Our connection was not love.”Reflecting on her time spent with Sandoval and Kennedy, 32, she acknowledged, “I know for me personally, I stayed in unhealthy relationships for far too long. … I feel like I maybe missed out on some precious time learning these lessons the hard way.“James Kennedy and Tom Sandoval.Todd Williamson/Bravo, Phillip Faraone/GettyIn early March 2023, Sandoval’s then-girlfriend of nine yearsAriana Madixdiscovered that he and Leviss had beenhaving a secret relationshipbehind her back. She immediatelybroke up with him, and the betrayal spiraled into aninternational scandalthat is still playing out inseason 11.A few weeks after Leviss and Sandovalapologizedto Madix, 38, they were forced to reckon with their choices during thebrutal season 10 reunionfilming.Though Sandoval and Leviss claimed they were still in love at that time, Madix was having none of it. She called her ex “diabolical, demented, disgusting” and “subhuman” before telling Leviss, “F— yourself with a cheese grater. F— you. You f—ing suck. You’re disgusting, and I wish nothing but the worst f—ing sh– that could ever happen to a person on you.“Leviss did not returnto filmVPRseason 11 and has sincecut off all contact with Sandoval— a move, she confirmed on her latest podcast episode, that she had decided to takeat the recommendation of her therapist.Rachel “Raquel” Leviss and Ariana Madix.getty (2)Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.Vanderpump Rulesairs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET on Bravo and can be streamed in full on Peacock.
Rachel “Raquel” Levissis confident her relationship withTom Sandovalwas “not love.”
In the latest episode of herRachel Goes Roguepodcast, theVanderpump Rulesalum explained what made her realize the polarizing affair wasn’t the real deal.
Speaking withMarried at First Sightexpert Pastor Cal about“love bombing,”she addressed Sandoval’s comment onlast week’s episode ofVPRthat he’s “still very much in love with Raquel.”
While considering the kind of “manipulation tactics” some romantic partners — and cult leaders — use to forge bonds, the 29-year-old former pageant queen said: “It’s interesting that you say that its origin [of love bombing] came from cults and religious institutions because people joining churches or cults are trying to find a place of belonging, of acceptance. Gradually, over time, it becomes a control tactic. It’s almost like that phrase ‘a frog in boiling water’ where it won’t jump out of boiling water even though it’s going to kill them, because it’s so gradual.”
Connecting that thought to her previous relationships — both with Sandoval, 41, and with herex-fiancéJames Kennedy— Leviss concluded: “I feel like it’s a similar manipulation tactic. At first, you just think this person is so in love with you, they adore you and they’re giving you all this attention.” But eventually, she said, the relationships became about “control” and left her in a spot where she felt she had no one to rely on but her partner — something she called an “odd pattern” that’s played out more than once in her life.
Rachel “Raquel” Leviss.Getty Images
Getty Images
She admitted of both exes: “I fell in love with one narcissistic a–hole, and after that relationship ended after five years of being in that relationship, I fell into the hands of another narcissistic a–hole,” she said. “I feel like I maybe missed out on some precious time learning these lessons the hard way.”
And from the top of the episode, Leviss stated clearly that she could only draw one conclusion about herseven-month affair with Sandoval: “Our connection was not love.”
Reflecting on her time spent with Sandoval and Kennedy, 32, she acknowledged, “I know for me personally, I stayed in unhealthy relationships for far too long. … I feel like I maybe missed out on some precious time learning these lessons the hard way.”
James Kennedy and Tom Sandoval.Todd Williamson/Bravo, Phillip Faraone/Getty
In early March 2023, Sandoval’s then-girlfriend of nine yearsAriana Madixdiscovered that he and Leviss had beenhaving a secret relationshipbehind her back. She immediatelybroke up with him, and the betrayal spiraled into aninternational scandalthat is still playing out inseason 11.
A few weeks after Leviss and Sandovalapologizedto Madix, 38, they were forced to reckon with their choices during thebrutal season 10 reunionfilming.
Though Sandoval and Leviss claimed they were still in love at that time, Madix was having none of it. She called her ex “diabolical, demented, disgusting” and “subhuman” before telling Leviss, “F— yourself with a cheese grater. F— you. You f—ing suck. You’re disgusting, and I wish nothing but the worst f—ing sh– that could ever happen to a person on you.”
Leviss did not returnto filmVPRseason 11 and has sincecut off all contact with Sandoval— a move, she confirmed on her latest podcast episode, that she had decided to takeat the recommendation of her therapist.
Rachel “Raquel” Leviss and Ariana Madix.getty (2)
Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
Vanderpump Rulesairs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET on Bravo and can be streamed in full on Peacock.
source: people.com
